Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

H2O corndogs running around naked CC

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a gay guy? kevin

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops