Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

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wanna hear a joke? i dont

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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Kameron Brown is gay.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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The Labour Party.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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