What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

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Two Naked men jump off a cliff. Three months later, an entire pack of Cub Scouts were enrolled in group therapy. It's ongoing.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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What happened to the child who was rushed into hospital with a deadly disease? He pulled through. I'ts depressing to be constantly hearing sad anti jokes, so here is a nice one. The child in question lived to eighty one, had a great life and a good job. See, it's nice to read a happy anti joke!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Why did the pony say neigh? That`s all he can say

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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