give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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24

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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PENIS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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