A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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I <3 Hitler

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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