If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Get 100,000 Twitter Followers for $49.99 at Ladsta.com today!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

so today i took a poop. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops