what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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