An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

knock knock who's there? your destiny

What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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