A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

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Well this is pointless.....

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops