Katy Perry

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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