When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +11

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why does the man appear fat he is

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops