How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

justin beiber sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops