What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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