Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 6 being the highest how confused are you?

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? This is a psychological question which the egg came from the chicken, but the chicken also came from an egg, so the world may never know exactly.

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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roses are red violets are hot dog this rhyme has no sense fork

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Orchids are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops