Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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Yo mama so fat, when she went to a party, they took the apple from the roast pig's mouth, and they put it on her mouth.

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Sorry, I need to take care of business up here, it is for the best that we do not communicate for a while, suspicions are going to be flaring up all over the place You better keep your head low, the place with the code-name "The Kings Throne" was under attack, but as you might know, its not what it used to be, you should all leave Point Zero in 3-4 hours when the dust has settled. Personally I suspect it is someone from the past, yes rivals, but according to the information nobody that knows who "The Nero" is, so as you can already tell, you and I are in equal danger until this is resolved. I promise to call you someday

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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