Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

Men

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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