A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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