What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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