800 people died last year. end of story

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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