How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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800 people died last year. end of story

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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