taking out the trash... at night

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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