Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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