How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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