I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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