Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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