What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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what are three short words? i a am

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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