what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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Goat balls.

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What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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womens rights

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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Ruller

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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Lacrosse

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops