How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Winking at old people

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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Women's rights.

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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