What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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ASSCHEEKS

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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P0P T4Rt

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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I love you very much.

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops