Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

What's funny? Women's rights.

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

Row, row, row your... Canoe.

whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

Robin, get in the car.

a man walked into a bar and said ow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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