What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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Knock Knock Come in.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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Knock knock, come in.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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