Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

thumb_up thumb_down

a man walked into a bar and said ow

thumb_up thumb_down

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -4

guess what?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

wat?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

ASSCHEEKS

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops