What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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What's gay and gay? Joe

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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I love you.

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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wanna hear a joke? no

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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