yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops