Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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knock knock who's there? hope

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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