Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...