What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops