What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

A man buys free health care...

thumb_up thumb_down +96

What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

thumb_up thumb_down +64

So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

69

thumb_up thumb_down +46

-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Chuck Norris is a normal man.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops