Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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Women's Rights

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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A man walks into a bar and says ow. Two men walk into a bar, which is weird, because the second guy should have seen it coming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops