What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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The Mets win the World Series

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Knock Knock Come in.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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wat?

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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