Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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women's rights

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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The awkward when you said moment in your head.

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A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

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Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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Look at your hand. Made you look!

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How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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Dallas Cowboys

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops