Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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