Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops