How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

What do you call the white woman who bought kool-aid for a black man. a good friend.

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...