Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

what do you call a monkey? a monkey

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

whats green and lives in the water

A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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