What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Hail Hitler

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How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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sharks

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops