Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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AIDS

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WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7? I REALLY DONT KNOW!

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why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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