Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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it was all Tagart

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops