united we sit, cause we're fat

What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

Who does creatine? James Cornish

A seal walks into a club.

Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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