Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops