Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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