Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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