If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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