What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops