Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 6's boss, has been sexually assaulting 6 for years at work, but 6 needs the money too bad to say anything or quit his job.

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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No!

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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