Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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what is 3+3= 8

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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pull my finger (farts)

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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