What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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